He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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