Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
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