You're so nebulous sometimes
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
