you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
ugly people sure do ruin things
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
