I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
