you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
