Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
