All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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