I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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