The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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