worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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