is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
