You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
