how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize