Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize