if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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