I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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