ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
