How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
