Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Randomize
