This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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