so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize