My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize