I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Randomize
