My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
So many bounce houses so little time
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
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