pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
