i already hear my dad disowning me
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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