I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
