allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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