Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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