So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
