He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize