You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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