Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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