escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
