Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Randomize
