his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
