Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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