He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Randomize
