Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
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