I'm sorry my penis didn't work
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
