no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
