On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize