um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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