if i died would you start the facebook group?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
