I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I'm always down for nudity.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
