RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
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