i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
soo... how was my night?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize