One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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