shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
