She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
You may now shotgun with the bride
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
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