im gay
i know
yea but for you.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
