it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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