the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
This beer is not sobering me up at all
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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