I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
So many bounce houses so little time
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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