Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
