I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this just has baby written all over it
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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