I hope mine doesn't look like that
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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