ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
