my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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